latina incognito...

Have you ever cumbia'd? If you are a white girl from the city, the chances of you answering yes to this question are slim. Growing up in Dallas, cumbia was not really in my radar. I attempted, poorly might I add, to dance with a bit of "latina" flair while in Argentina and Costa Rica. Both attempts were absolute FAILS. Well, my time in Marfa has lead me to more than one opportunity to practice, and hopefully improve, my cumbia skills.

Basically, you just have to move with the music - follow the beat they said last night. Well, here's my thing: I have NO ability to follow and understand a beat. I spend so much time thinking about how silly and classically "gringa" I must appear to be that I can hardly focus on the task at hand: dancing. Last night I was at Padre's with a gang of lovely latina women. They have been cumbia'ing their entire lives - it comes naturally to them. I, on the other hand, avoid any dance that is "feeling the music" and not lead by a male's strong guidance. I just don't have that common ability to "feel" the music. So, after a brave viejo (old man for all you gringos out there...) asked me to dance, I suddenly experienced great anxiety! He did not seem to speak English, was older than my dad, an obvious natural, and was very stoic and upright. I, on the other hand, am told to be a "bouncy" dancer, love to talk to my dance partners...in English, and am NOT a natural. Poor guy - if only I knew how to warn him in Spanish... Well, it was a blast, of course. I stayed near my partner only because it would have been terribly rude and offense to walk off. I danced and got teased and laughed for the entire song - but, please note: one song in cumbia is a set of more like 3-4 songs. Great.

Either way, I had quite the experience last night. I was amongst my lovelier latina amigas who attempted to show me the ropes - how to be a Mexicana. Sadly, my disguise was not bought by anyone - everyone thought they needed to inform me that "Abby, you are so white!"...as if I didn't know? I need to keep practicing this art of being Mexican. Dance lessons and spanish speaking times are on the horizon for me. Knowing how to throw back Patron and drink Dos Equis just doesn't cut it in this town. Not if I really want to embrace the culture, that is...


Marfa means...dancing cumbia with old and sweaty men, taking shots with the older hotel employees, and going to an "after party" in a barn.

absolultely scrumptous.

Put together eggs, vanilla, and sugar and you will always be satisfied. These three ingredients are the basis of cakes, cookies, brownies, pies, and (my personal favorite) ice cream. Depending on cooking times, preparation methods, and other ingredients, you can begin with three basic items and end with some incredibly sweet, satisfying, and all-together wonderful.

Today I put this theory to the test. Using my all-time favorite baker as my guide, I baked and layered over a dozen Homemade Ice Cream Sandwiches. To me, that just sounds fancy! But, please note, it was so simple. Using a basic but sturdy chocolate cookie recipe and the best ice cream available in Marfa, Texas, I slathered the creamy deliciousness between two freshly baked (but cooled, of course) chocolate cookies. Please - EVERYONE try this at home. I quickly wrapped them up and ran a few down to the hotel. This kind of wonderful delight in life should just NOT be enjoyed alone.


Marfa means...sitting at Jett's and trying experiment drinks while Jose tries my newest creation :)

the ultimate tease.

God is the ultimate tease. He keeps surrounding Marfa with expansive storm clouds, exquisite lightening shows, rumbling thunder. All the land and towns within at least a 40 mile radius seem to be getting excellent rain and storms - all of which we can see thanks to the open space that West Texas provides. And yet, even though we close windows and bring in the drying laundry, Marfa gets little more than a sprinkling of rain. I keep waiting and anticipating the fury of the sky to fall down upon my little town. I keep hoping for the thunderous experience that a West Texas storm brings. I await the freshness and lightness of the air after a good, cleansing rain. I see it all around me but it has yet to hit Marfa!

I have a new project in mind...I will let you know more when things look more realistic. It involves Marfa, obviously, and raising money for a brave and sacrificial group here in town. If all works according to plan, it will be a really fun and exciting project. Let's hope things work out!


Marfa means...getting to actually watch a thunderstorm without being in the midst of it.

a time of reflection.

Being my first full weekend back home since my tour of Texas, I expected this to be a BIG weekend, lots of crazy stories, maybe some good pics of my fly outfits, and exhaustion. I am finishing up the weekend feeling very mellow and pensive rather than chatty and pooped. I guess this is a good thing. Maybe it's a sign of maturing that I can be chill when I go out; that I can sit back, have just one beer, and just take in the evening's experiences without being the CENTER of the experience. Or maybe it was just me being thoughtful and needing to recover from a crazy 2010. Either way, I gussied myself up last night, broke out the 4 inch heels in Marfa, and attempted a night out on the town. Like I said, it ended up being more of a relaxing and internal experience - I guess they can't all be big nights out.

This weekend has been a lonely one for me. That is a weird thought since I am with people constantly in Marfa and know lots of people from lots of different social groups. But, I have spent the afternoons at the house, reading/attempting to nap/working on watching Lonesome Dove and that allows for my mind to wonder, to consider my life as it is, and to miss John. Don't worry - it's not a dark time here in M-town for me and I'm not depressed. Just thoughtful. I have found something to be true: grief is exhausting. It takes a lot of time and always shows up again after a short absence. You get used to it being less present, the norm becomes noticing that your loved one is not there but not having to focus on that all the time because of life getting in the way. But then, one day out of the blue, it creeps back into your mind, your thoughts, your heart - infiltrating every moment and every conversation and every experience. I had myself fooled - I thought I had maybe figured everything out. Joke's on me. Missing John will be a norm for the rest of my life. Missing John has become something that I take with me to the hotel, to the bar, to dinner with friends, and as I drive through the West Texas mountains. I think the important part of grief is that you learn to continue in life, remembering the one you love, but not losing sight of your own need to really live in the midst of everything.

Here's what it feels like to lose your best friend, your soul mate: there's always an absence. Even when I'm surrounded by friends - new and old - it is evident that something is missing, something is not as it usually is. It's knowing that you don't have your ultimate wingman to share your experiences with - even if it is just via phone or text. It's not having someone to laugh at how ridiculous you are, to get angry at the stupidity of people, to plan your next experience with. It's knowing that no matter who comes and goes in life, that role that that one person filled and took on will never be filled again. That the relationship and comfort and closeness felt there will never be able to be duplicated. It's a lonely moment to realize that for me to find my "someone" in life, I have to go through the getting-to-know-you process and experience the initial awkwardness and nervousness that goes into it. In order to be totally comfortable with a guy like I was with John, I have to go through that first phase...but first I have to find someone worthy of that effort and energy. I know, I am young and have a lifetime ahead of me. Don't worry - I am not whining about my single status. I sometimes even enjoy it. I am simply trying to voice this constant loneliness of not having my best friend to share my life with - my best friend that was always "my person"as well as a good friend.

These last 6 months have aged my spirit and my soul. I feel older than 21. Not in a depressing way, just a way that only life experiences naturally bring about. In this older self, I find that I am ready to settle down, to start the next phase of life with someone to share all the moments with - to just sit and listen to the band at Padres, to join my family and I at Schlitterbahn, to watch Lonesome Dove with me, to visit me at work during lunch time. It's these little things that are normal, everyday experiences I am ready to share with someone.

Today, my MARFAlous life reminds me to LOVE the ones in your life, to enjoy the simple moments of life, to live right now - not only anticipating what will happen in the future. We have the present; God does not promise us any more time than that. Live fully, laugh openly, and love deeply.

Marfa means...going for a cup and coffee and staying for 2 hours - just because you sit to chat.

mm mm good

This is definitely an mm mm good morning here in the little white house on Texas Street. I am sipping my coffee and sitting in the kitchen. The windows are opened and I can here the town beginning to wake up - birds chirping (even with my fear, I can still appreciate morning bird songs...), dogs barking, cars headed to work or maybe home from work. I love this part of the day - sun coming up, sky is a greyish blue with the break of dawn. It's a good day here in Marfa.

Classes started Tuesday. I'm taking my speech/communications credit at Sul Ross State University. I am not worried about the class - good professor, easy subject matter, will be over after the month. However, other than a nearly 30 year old guy, I'm the oldest by far. There is a high school program at Sul Ross for high schoolers in the area to get a taste of living on their own and doing the whole college thing...that's right, they are in my class! I have high schoolers, my cousin's class has all the older returning students after a few years' break in college. Well, it should be fun. If anything, now I'll know some of the younger west Texas crowd - always good to have a few friends in different groups! Plus, one of them works at DQ...think he can hook me up??

Marfa means...amazing fried jalepenos and good company at Jett's (the hotel's restaurant)!

hello june.

Hello June - it's lovely to see you. I feel that your arrival really is the TRUE mark of the beginning of summer. Even with summer school starting today, it just has summer in the air. Most schools are out by now, the pool awaits all who can get away and take an afternoon to just soak up the sun, and watermelon/peaches/tomatoes are in every grocery store yet again. Love it! June is the first FULL month of summer. May involved finals, moving out of Lubbock and into Marfa, traveling all over our great state, and lots of family time and graduations. There were lots of different things going on. Now, it is officially summer. I start summer SCHOOL today, have plans to read and work and socialize when I'm not in class, and have a Schlitterbahn trip with the fam on the horizon. Thank you, God, for the seasons you give us and the freshness that summertime brings. Love, Abby.

a new kind of cowboy...

Today I met a new kind of cowboy. Well, not really NEW but considering the MARFAlous life's dictionary says a cowboy is one who works with cattle and horses on a ranch, wears hott jeans, sports boots on a daily basis, and has a sexy southern drawl, NEW will definitely apply here. I was at my yearly doctor checkup (one of FOUR doctor appointments I had today!) and waiting to check out. In front of me, like 3 feet ahead, stood the tall, very attractive, and very famous Troy Aikman. Yes, the man who spent many years and much energy playing for the Dallas Cowboys goes to the same doctor's office as I do. After being informed while his back was to us that the man ahead was, in fact, the famous Troy Aikman, I had a dilemma: a) do I acknowledge that fact that, sir, you are THE Troy Aikman and allow myself proper flustering and blushing time...maybe even snag an autograph?? OR b) do I attempt to be normal and merely wish him good day? In the moments I had to decide, I chose the latter. I figure that he does in fact know that he is THE Troy Aikman and would probably rather get on out of the doctor's office and on with his day.

After a sexy eye contact moment and a brief smile, we quickly wished each other good day.

Marfa means...MY CAR IS FIXED!!!