C'est magnific!

Let me begin by acknowledging that I probably misspelled the title of this blog. It has been a number of years since I studied French and the spelling of words seems I have slipped my mind. That, and the fact that I followed my years as a French student with three years of studying and a number of trips immersing myself in the Spanish language. You'd think that after so many years of ieducation in two different languages, I would be able to speak in at least one of them! Alas, this is not the case. But, at least I have the jist of things whereas, had I been traveling in Asia or the Middle East, I would be a poor, lost foreigner with absolutely no idea what is going on. Scary!!

So here I am in the beautiful country of France, visiting my bet friend and college roommate (Rachel) for two weeks. Yes that's right - two whole weeks to be together and soak up that place that she currently calls "home". Our first weekend was spent in the German/France border town of Strausborg. What a delightful town! The buildings were colorful, the river wraps itself around the city center, and the cathedral was (naturally) breath-taking. The town has the oldest holiday market so there were decorations everywhere - even places you would not expect. There was quaint wooden market stands throughout the town selling local wines, cheese, meats, jewelry, goods and regional souvenirs. Our favorite stands were those selling vin chaud - hot wine that is a lovely and warming fusion of cider and sangria. For one euro, you buy a souvenir cup that serves as an economical way to prevent many cups being used on refills throughout your time in strausborg. Perhaps we should find such a method in the states to prevent so many styrofoam and red solo cups from only being used once? Just a thought...

In strausborg, we stayed with Julien - a professor for young students in history and geography. Julien was the most excellent host. He made supper for us two nights, went to the bakery in the mornings for fresh breads and pastries, made is coffees, and took us around the city. He imbibed in much wine with us claiming that he drank more wine that weekend than ever before in one weekend - and he's the French one! I believe that his fest experience with Americans was with us and I sure hope that it was worth his efforts and time. He was a wonderful friend and host and definitely won us both over.

I am, at this moment, snuggled up on Rachel's bed having just eaten some lunch. My book is calling out to me so I believe that I will take it to a cafe. So much more fun to read while sipping a boisson chaud (hot beverage??) and people watching. Nothing quite like it. But then again, I saw some nutella crepe stands that might be needing my tasting skills. We shall see where my feet guide me!

First, though, I must express the beauty and power of the cathedrals here. I have been inside cathedrals before but never with the free time and life experience that I have on this trip. Today, I was able to just sit in the Orleans cathedral and soak up te magnificence of such a structure. With the chorale Christmas music playing and the holiday decor, it was that much more breathtaking. One of my favorite books, Pillars of the Earth, did an excellent job in preparing my mind for experiencing cathedrals. The book illustrates the time, man power, talent and precision that goes into constructing a cathedral - especially considering that these were before modern calculators, cranes, and technology for easier and quicker building projects. Just sitting, with no talking, texting, or distractions around, one cannot avoid the pious history and the power of an all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-loving God. What a place to be.

Bon soir...for now!
ac.

my two families.

"I'm thankful because I have two families...and not too many people can say that."

The final line in one of my favorite shows, Chicago Fire, seems to nail exactly how I have felt for the last week. Well, really it's a feeling that I have been blessed to have all my life. But, it came into great perspective last weekend as one of my life long friends, Lindy, married the man we have all prayed for her to find. I can't really say that she found him, or vice-versa, as it was an act of God that they were brought together at the right moment. God's timing is so much better than our own. Sorry for the sidetrack....

Lindy is second of three children in her family - her older sister, Katie, is also a life-long friend and her brother John is the subject of many of my previous posts. I loved, and will always love, John whole-heartedly and enjoyed years of friendship and fun with him. Lindy has always been like a sister to me. I have preferred to think of her as a "soul sista" ever since she gave me a CD mix with the same title. It's such a true title as we are not related by blood but life, love, and similarities have brought us together. I love her like I love my sister. I want her to succeed in life, to love fully, and to receive the love that she deserves. Lindy and I have always been connected by our love for baking and eating baked goods. I helped her with her first wedding cake and recently was honored by getting to make her wedding cake (see picture!). We both loved John so much and dealt with the enormous lose that his death left in our lives. We are both the middle of three children and the youngest of two daughters - I like to think this plays into things :) Lindy is a very special person to a very huge group of people. Her husband, Michael, is one lucky guy to have won her heart. I look forward to getting to know Michael in the years to come and to see their marriage and relationship grow.

Okay, okay - back to the quote at the top of my post! I had to discuss Lindy to elude into the point of this conversation with myself. I have two families. Many people do not even have the blessing of having one family. Death, divorce, dramas - many reasons can lead to the destruction of a family unit. Unfortunately, it seems to be more common than I realized for people to be estranged from their families or those who love them. One lesson my mom recently taught me was that holding on to past offenses can ruin a future with someone. How sad and heartbreaking that people do this to themselves as often as the experiences of life separates families.

This is what makes the family unit so special and holy - it takes consistent effort and grace and love to keep the unit together, connected, and to not allow separation from something trivial, much less something major. Grace, kindness, and forgiveness does not always come easy. But, it is so worth the effort to have a group of people who love and support you standing around you, watching you live life, and cheering you on - despite the bumps in the road and in the relationships.

How do I have two families you might ask? Well, I was born into one wonderful, crazy, food-loving, movie-watching, and leisurely family. We enjoy being together - especially when chips and salsa or cheese and bread are involved :) Now that we are all of legal drinking age, it adds to the fun when we have some new wines to try or whiskey to sip on or maybe an eclectic selection of beer to sample. My family makes an effort to be together for holidays. We tease each other - and sometimes hurt feelings. We forgive, love, laugh, and encourage. Both of my siblings inspire me in different ways on a regular basis. My parents give me something to look forward to in marriage, parenting, aging, and retirement. They raised us on Christian values and live in accordance to the same lessons they taught us. My parents support our crazy plans and love us even when we screw up...and we have all had plenty of screw-ups. My siblings and I are very close to our cousins, Hannah and Kate. The five of us more resemble siblings than cousins, actually, and both sets of parents have been supportive, encouraging, and loving throughout our years. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents have spent the better part of their lives praying for us kids to be believers in Christ, to love life, to love others, and to be honorable people. My family enjoys and values our times together. Life has shown that family togetherness is not unlimited - we are blessed and fortunate to still have the unit intact. We appreciate each other more because of the events and losses we have experienced together. I am blessed and lucky to have this family of mine - even especially with all our quirks and crazy.

I have another family. This family has stood beside me in moments of great joy as well...and those of great heartbreak, grief, and pain. This family consists of peers my age - give or take a few years - but also their families. We have all kinda adopted each other as our own. This family is my Campmeeting family. Most of them are related and have allowed my little family to join the crowd. We have grown up together, knowing that, at the very least, we would reunite every August. Our ages range from 17ish to 31ish...plus little Anders who is just 1.5 years...ish. A few additions have been made over the years and more will come to the group as the rest of us get married and have babies.

But, this group is special. This is a group that is not entirely connected by blood, but completely connected by love, acceptance, and Christ. We make an effort to reconvene at Campmeeting each year. We go out of our way to attend the weddings and funerals that the in-between times bring to the table. We catch up right where we left off - even if it's been over the standard year. We discuss literature, philosophy, and theology. We play silly games and have jam sessions on the porch. We take late night walks and can sit for hours just TALKING. Not many from our generation take value in such experiences and, yet, we not only value them - we THRIVE on them. We laugh and cry, rejoice and grieve, listen and share together. We are a group of individuals who feel more complete and content with life when we are all together again. We are a group of individuals who set their annual calendar from August to August, rather than January to January, because that is when Campmeeting will bring us together again.

I love this family of mine. I know that they will support, encourage, and love me no matter what life throws at me. They loved John too but reached out to me when he died because they knew I would be hurting so much. They love Lindy and made an effort to be at her wedding, to support her, to honor her marriage by witnessing and celebrating the moment. They rest secured in the knowledge that we will be together again when Jesus takes one of us Home. We thrive on the hymn God be with you til we meet again because we personally feel the power of the lyrics. At the wedding last weekend, it became clear to many of us just how special and rare this experience and bond is. My uncle's toast to the couple proclaimed the uniqueness - even he considers all the "kids" of the group to be his own. It is so rare and unique to have a group of people who are so crazy about each other and their families that we accept them as our own.

During this season of thankfulness, I must proclaim my eternal gratefulness for this blessing of two families. I have two families that accept me as I am, who challenge me to be better and stronger, who understand my crazy and emotional side, and who love me despite everything. I have been blessed more than I deserve and love them all.

thank you, Jesus, for this blessing.

xo,
ac

p.s. a few more pics just because I'm proud to have these people in my life!

My Family!

The Campmeeting Family!

Epic Capture of Cousin Love

Positive Impacts, #3

Today is the (almost) two week marker since my bone marrow donation. I still have little scab/sores/bumps above my rear but they no longer hurt or get rubbed by my waist band - phew! Just being dramatic - it really was not that bad. The surgery was on Tuesday, October 23rd and just took a few days of puny-ness in my childhood home before I was back to moving around. When I was given a donation date and the "go ahead" for the procedure, I started having that hodgepodge of emotions again: excitement, anxiety, hopeful, nervous, inquisition, and slightly flabbergasted by the whole thing.

Yes, I had one day of total freak out. I was not nearly as giving and peaceful about the whole thing as I came across. Here's how I felt on that day of extreme emotions: What am I doing putting myself in potential danger for someone I do not know and most likely never will? Why am I volunteering for anesthesia when some people do not survive anesthesia?? What if she does not survive and my bone marrow was worthless and her family is sad and she is dead??? Morbid, yes, but, according to the papers I had to read and sign as consent to the procedure, totally normal. Among many documents that they had me sign, I literally signed a form stating that I understand the possibility of the patient not surviving and I will not take it personally or take blame for such an occasion. Whoa. That's pretty major - not take the blame for the death of another person?? Put myself in danger, albeit very small odds of danger, for someone I don't know and might not survive?? Yes, I am ashamed to admit that I had moments of such thinking. But, the desire to follow through, give something of myself, and hopefully be a part of a new life for a woman and her loved ones won in the end. I knew that God was going to use this experience for some reason. If the odds are as small of matching us together as winning the lottery and we beat those odds, I passed all the health requirements and testing, and she was healthy enough for the transplant, clearly this was something God intended to happen...for SOME reason. It's wild that He always has a reason and, sometimes often times, we never know the reason.

So, after more blood tests, an EKG and then another EKG to just be sure everything was good to go, a physical in Lubbock at the Cancer Center (yikes), a chest x-ray, a few more blood tests, and a number of signed consent forms, we set the date for the donation. Our first date came and went as the patient's cancer relapsed so we had to put it on hold. Two weeks later, I flew to Ft Worth for the procedure.

Let's just say, I had no idea what to expect. I did some research, read some blogs, but never got a good idea of what was going to happen. I had my mom, mistakenly, telling me it was a simple procedure and the internet telling me that it was much more than that. I put on my brave panties and just went with the flow, something I am not very good at. We arrived at Cook Children's Hospital in Ft Worth at 5:15 a.m.  and signed in. Of course, it's a children's hospital so nurses and administrative personal kept referring to me as "mom" - most women my age are there for a child. Strange moment - no, mom is the woman next to me and I am the child! Sidetrack... We checked in, took yet another urine sample, and were introduced to my pre-op patient. Sadly, I do not remember her name - a constant failing on my part. But I remember this: she was kind, cheery (especially for pre-6 am), informative, and interested. She was gentle with the many prodding's one has to have for an IV and more blood work. I was disappointed to find out that your pre-op and post-op nurses are not the same person. I, personally, would like to have the same person all the way through...oh well. As one who has only ever had the standard wisdom teeth removal surgery, this whole experience was new to me!

While mom sat in a standard hospital room chair, I dressed in an ever attractive patient gown and snuggled up to warmed blankets on a reclined bed/chair thing. Great invention, by the way - to have pre-warmed sheets. I need one of those devices... Jamie, my Be The Match counselor, arrived shortly and so did more nurses, technicians, my whole surgery team, and 3 members of the anesthesia team...all at once...all sharing information that seemed fairly important as my life would soon be in their hands...poking my veins for more blood tests. Oh. My. Goodness. Too many people in one tiny room asking too many important questions! I took it pretty well - my mother was a little overwhelmed. For a woman who has spent her life handling medical situations well and who is always very composed, it was interesting to see her in a reversed role: watching her own child be in the patient chair. I guess the situation is different when it's your own daughter, or son, in the chair about to undergo a surgery that you thought was more standard and simple than it sounds the morning of, sitting in the room with so many doctors, nurses, and personnel. Whoa. We made it through though and we are the wiser because of it. It is not a challenging procedure but it is anesthesia, nonetheless. It is not a lengthy surgery, but it is surgery, nonetheless.

Best part of the morning? The sedative before rolling me into the surgical room. Whoa baby, no wonder people do drugs! For a few moments, everything is so relaxed and cozy and free. Don't get me wrong, I have no intentions to seek this feeling again. But, it sure was a nice treat and a warm, cozy feeling before counting backwards, zoning out, and waking up 1.5 hours later only to think you had just dozed off. So odd to "wake up" and think no time has passed when the reality is that over an hour has passed, you lost over a LITER of bone marrow, and were medicinally reawaken. Weird. During the surgery, I was given a pint of my own blood back - giving this blood was part of the pre-op process in Midland. I "donated" blood to myself in case I needed it after the surgery. Why did I need the blood, one might ask? When bone marrow is taken from your bones, your body feels the need to fill in the gaps. So, my body flooded the now empty bones with blood which, in turn, made me slightly anemic as my body was "short" on blood. The body regenerates this blood and the bone marrow over a short time but, as I have an extensive history of fainting, they did not want to risk the in-between time. So, I had a transfusion of my own blood to help my 5'9" structure not fall to the ground or the bathroom floor while fainting. Thank you, medical team. Been there, done that, not so fun!

The recovery from the bone marrow donation is not lengthy or painful. Yes, I was sore and had a day or two of feeling slightly flu-ish. But, they gave good painkillers. And, a cozy fire, good book, and your sweet dog to lay on your sore body goes a long way. Worst part of recovery? Being so bloated from the anesthesia and painkillers. It feels like you gained about 10 pounds in one day. Not fun. Not pretty. I stopped using the medicine they gave me after I realized that the side effect was tight fitting pants, constipation and swollen belly syndrome. No thank you.

So, should you register for the bone marrow registry? Heck yes. Was this a huge time commitment and financial burden? Not at all - they pay for everything and you could be back to work after a day or two of recovery if necessary. Was this an experience that I will forever appreciate? You bet. Go now - www.marrow.org and register. It's worth it. It could literally save someone's life. Remember, if they are at the point of considering a bone marrow donation, especially from someone unrelated, then they are normally out of other options. There are over 2,000,000 donors in the registry - and that is not enough. Many patients are just treating the cancer, waiting for a match to come up in the registry. Maybe you are the exact person that they have been waiting for?

Hugs and best wishes from Marfa,
ac.

Positive Impacts, #2

With John in August 2009

When John was diagnosed with Lymphoma, his family looked into the option of a bone marrow transplant. While his family went through the testing process to see if any of them were matches, a number us on the sidelines submitted our information to the Be A Match bone marrow registry out of support and encouragement. Naturally, I hoped that somehow I would turn up as a perfect match for John. I knew the likelihood of that actually happening but what a physical way to show your love and support by giving your best friend bone marrow! Then we really would be connected in a way beyond friendship. Even though the reality of one of us matching John was slim, we saw the importance of a patient being able to find a match. Bone marrow donation saves lives – it is often a last resort treatment and provides hope and health for many people who will die from cancer. The opportunity to maybe possibly help someone survive this terrible illness by simply signing up is one of which we should all take advantage.

When one signs up to donate bone marrow, the process could not be more simple. Often times, friends and family of lymphoma or leukemia patients will hold a drive to advocate the bone marrow registry, make people aware of the process and allow them to sign up. Or, you can go to www.marrow.org and click “Join the Registry.” They will ask you some questions regarding health and personal information and then allow you to order a registration kit. By order I do not mean pay – everything with the process from signing up to the pain pills after the surgery is free of charge to a donor. The registration kit is simply a pair of large q-tips that they ask you to swipe inside your cheek. The cheek cells collected on the q-tip is enough for the registry team and system to establish your tissue type. You simply mail the completed kit (no postage payment either!) back to Be the Match and they take it from there. Your information is inputted into the registry of over 20 million donors, world-wide. Doctors can then do a massive search of all donors to find the best matches for their patients.

In April 2012, I was contacted by Jamie who would soon become my advocate and coordinator for the donation process. She introduced herself, stated that I had previously signed up to donate bone marrow through Be the Match, and have been initially matched to a patient with leukemia – would I still be interested in donating? After a brief attack of many different emotions, I said yes. What have I gotten myself into? What are the risks to myself in going through this process? Why couldn’t this call have happened three years ago saying I matched John?

Jamie informed me that they would need further information to see if we are more than just initial matches but that it could take weeks or months to know for sure. Like I’ve said, the chances of actually being able to match and donate are similar to those of winning the lottery. The cheek collection gives enough info to do an initial connection but blood tests, health records, etc confirm whether a patient and a donor are compatible or not. I went that week to have about 7 tubes of blood drawn that were then sent for testing and examination. I filled out an online questionnaire asking a number of questions about my personal health, family health records, lifestyle, etc. Lots of information and blood tested, yes, but it is all done with the intention of making the best and most accurate match. The entire process is aimed at both the health and safety of the patient and the donor – they wanted to ensure that I could not only be compatible with my patient but that the surgery and donation would not put me at any risks. FYI, a potential donor should be aware of the possibility that unknown disorders, diseases, or other health problems might be detected in the research process. It is the responsibility of your coordinator (Jamie in my case) to inform you if anything comes up irregular. I was a bit frightened that some unknown blood disorder or other disease would come up in my blood work – I am paranoid like that. But, fortunately, nothing irregular came up.

In fact, I never heard back from Jamie concerning the donation until August. She was calling to say that I was one of two matches for my patient. I was second choice meaning that if the first donor did not work out, I would be contacted. Am I still interested? Yes, very much so I replied. Another six weeks passed before hearing from Jamie. This was THE call saying that I am THE match, am I interested, and get ready because it moves fast from here on out!

Again, I was excited, nervous, overwhelmed, anxious, and grateful that I was healthy enough to be able to do this for someone in need. I was, and still am, in awe of the blessing of good health that I have. My health is something that not everyone experiences – and I was able to share a small bit of my blessing with a complete stranger. Y’all, that is cool! I hope that more people take advantage of that opportunity! It is a complete miracle and wonder that someone’s tissue and blood can match so exactly to another’s allowing the patient’s bone marrow to be replaced and replenished.

My next post will be about my experience from that call telling me I am THE match until now, one week after the donation. Already wanting to sign up? See www.marrow.org and get the collection kit sent to you! Literally, you just swab the inside of your cheek and send the kit back to the organization. So simple and, yet, potentially so monumental for someone in need!

Positive Impacts

Just over three years ago, my best friend, John, was diagnosed with lymphoma. It was very aggressive and had him home with Jesus in less than 5 months. For those of you who have followed my blog in the past, you know the impact his death had on my life. It was the most impactful experience I have had and continues to affect my outlook on life, decisions, ability to love and my faith.

My world was completely jolted from the moment that the “C” word became a reality. It is never easy to see someone you love be sick, treated, and then die from cancer. It is even more difficult and transforming when they are young, fit, good, and your best friend. For many of my contemporaries who loved John, he was the first of our age group to die. That will forever impact us. The experience, however, of loving John throughout the diagnosis, treatment, and loss has had a number of positive impacts on my life. It took me a while to be comfortable with the acknowledgment that good could come from such sorrow but I am here to say that it’s true. God uses events in life to shape and transform us. It is best to LET this process happen as it causes much less confusion and pain when you let Him use life to better yourself.

One of these positive impacts came full circle last week. On Tuesday, October 23^rd, I was able to donate over a liter (yes, that’s a lot!) of my bone marrow to a woman with leukemia. This would never have happened had John not been sick and the possibility of a bone marrow donation discussed. I have now, mostly, recovered and continue on with my healthy life. The hope and prayer is that my patient can say the same because of this small gift. John never got the chance to see if someone else’s bone marrow could save his life. However, I know that, had that been an option, I would have been forever grateful and in awe of his donor. So, I was able to give that gift to another.

I will use this blog, in a few different posts, to tell of my experience as a bone marrow donor. It is so important that the registry of names and tissue type expand so that those in need can find a donor. There are over 20 million people in the international registry database for bone marrow donation and, yet, millions more are needed. The chances of being matched and donating are similar to winning the lottery – you can see that the odds of a patient finding a match are very slim. The more names in the registry, the more chances of a second chance at life. Many patients are on treatment plans, just waiting for a match to sign up. Often, they undergo intense chemotherapy and/or radiation while waiting for a donor to match up to them. The thing about it is that, for the donor, it is a very simple process and at zero cost. We give some time and let them take bone marrow and can, ideally, save a life. What a gift to us as donors! I am still grasping the fact that what to me is so minimal and easy has great potential to change lives. Wow.

I invite you to follow my blog in the coming days to see, firsthand, the process, investment, experience, and emotions involved with donating. When I was preparing for my surgery, I eagerly read blogs to have that firsthand information and guidance. I needed more, though. Whether you are deciding to go through with a donation, or might possibly be interested in signing up as a donor, please welcome yourself to my story! It is my hope and prayer that, through my donor journey, many more will feel lead to sign up for the registry.

I look forward to scribing this experience in the near future. I value your comments and your prayers for my receiving patient. I pray that you will be touched by my story.

xoxo,

ac.

p.s. If you're already interested, visit www.marrow.org!

moments.

It's that moment when you're driving down a dirt road and look up to a massive stretch of mountains before your eyes...That moment when you first step outside in the morning to fresh, crisp air. It's the fragrances of greasewood, dirt and cedar that are consistently intoxicating....the lush green landscape and joyful hearts, after even the lightest rain, because of months of drought and prayer. It's the people who come together, rain or shine, to support and love those in the community...The ability to pull together a wedding or funeral with little notice and limited resources. It's the inability to not see the mighty hand of a generous and gracious God.

These are the reasons I love Marfa and the nearby communities. These are the reasons that the West Texas landscape, people and way of life have tugged on my heart for nearly 24 years.

Well, the waiting is over. I am finally able to give into the magnetic pull that Marfa has had on my mind, body and heart. In 3 weeks, I get to truly call Marfa home. Watch out world - good good things are happening.

xoxo, ac.

BACK IN THE GAME!

It seems that it has become part of my blogging style to consistently take prolonged hiatus' from posting about my life, experiences, newfound "knowledge", projects, etc. I have a good run and then a good run off of the blogging world. I am back for a while! Can't say how long this will last but it's looking good for a while :)

Let me set the scene of my weekend: cold rainy weather, green chilies just begging to be used, dirty house begin to be cleaned, old country tunes serenading me, and a collection of random "honey-do's" to become "honey-did's." After a successful run to the local farmer's market, two girlfriends met me at my storage unit where 90% of my belongings are safely tucked away until I, finally, get a place of my own. It has been on my mind for weeks that I will soon be needing my winter clothes and had no way to get to them as they were packed in the BACK of the unit. So, we took out some furniture, dug around, and (hopefully) got me what I need. Unfortunately, I do not think my beloved boots got picked out the mess :( bummer. After a successful start to a wide open Saturday, I came home to my eager and welcoming pup to make some random soup using my green chili. I also made these "power cookies" using ripe bananas, applesauce, oats, pecans, chocolate chips, and chia seeds:




They are gluten free (unless oats are considered gluten...), low in sugar as the only sugar is from the organic applesauce, have the protein from peanut butter, and all the goodness that chia seeds bring to the table. If you have some bananas, let the get really ripe and try these out. Very yummy, freeze well, and so easy to grab-and-go for mornings when you are running late. I drive a LOT for work so it's always nice to have something nutritious and low in carbs, calories and fat to snack on.

After a long week with many emotions storming through my system, I am getting to catch up on the many things I have wanted and needed to get done for a while. The next few weeks are pretty packed and end up with a really wonderful change in my life - I will report back on all this in the near future. For now, I am going to continue on with my honey-do list while I still have the desire and have not yet been called by the couch and a movie...

xoxo,
ac.