my new surroundings

Well, I made it. I have moved out of the house in Lubbock, into the much smaller apartment in Midland, and have even gotten all my boxes and bags unpacked. It's not totally done as the wall hangings are gonna have to wait - I need a break for a few days! But, I am settled and comfortable in my new digs. The last time I lived in an apartment, there were four girls in one little place. Though we all had our own rooms and bathrooms, it was tight quarters with many personalities at their max strength! This new one is all mine, has a lovely and spacious balcony, and a working fireplace. It makes me a TEENY bit okay with the cold weather that will embark eventually.

Living by myself is a catch-22. While I have my own space and can do what I want, when I want, I miss living with someone. It is weird to come home at night and know that I will not be seeing anyone until the next day. It is weird to know that I CAN walk around sans-clothing or watch whatever movies I want or not clean the dishes if I just don't feel up for it. There is something dramatically comforting and peace-bringing about having another body with you at night. I miss you, Rachel!! You and I lived so well, so healthily, so smoothly together. I knew I could never have a new roomie because they would only ever disappoint compared to how well we lived together.

Started my job today at the branch I will be working for the next while in my life. I had a great time, we stayed busy, and I am excited to get to know these people I will be working with for the coming months - maybe even years. There is an energy with the corporation and the individuals that I work for, and with. It will be a wild few weeks as I get situated and comfortable with the job but lots of energy, lots of new experiences, and hopefully lots of fun.

Alright, just needed to get in a quick update here. I have a summer project I am working on so I must proceed for my daily dose of project-work. Hope you all are enjoying summer and soaking up the sun!

Marfa means...I get to be there in less than 3 weeks!!!!

You know that feeling we all have as Christmas approaches? The one where you anticipate this particular holiday ALL year long, plan parties and meals and outfits, think about how much each member of your life means to you...? And then, do you know the feeling that you get on December 26th when you wake up and realize that it's all over? All the planning and partying and socializing and wrapping has reached it's purpose and is over for the year? It's a feeling of near defeat when you realize that all you have planned and thought and hoped towards has been accomplished...

Graduation was similar to this feeling. Although, unlike Christmas, there will not be a renewed cycle of all the planning, paperwork, anticipating and goodbyes in 365 days. You get one college graduation to look forward to and then you are set off into the real world to see what it's really like out there. I reached my ONE college graduation. It was a great weekend full of family and friends, excitement, celebrations, good food and some good wine. With all the fun comes some interesting emotions, thoughts, and feelings towards this turning point in my life.

When a student graduates from high school, everyone tells them how they are all grown up, they are entering the "real world", and that things will be different from now on. Personally, I find this to be pretty much completely untrue. College is very similar, socially, to high school - only better. For the most part, you choose your schedule based on when you do or don't want to go to classes. You are expected to first and foremost be a student - even when there is a job or other responsibilities involved. You live with friends and create your life around them and your social desires. It really is the life. It is not the "real world" - it is the "ideal world." Being in college was a blast and similar to a little bubble around my reality and how I wanted it to be.

The real change is AFTER college. For the first time in my life, I got to CHOOSE what comes next. It is a very surreal moment when you realize that there is really no norm for what to do next. After high school, there are two "norms" to choose from: college or get a job. After college, the opportunities are endless: travel the world, join the military, veg on mom and dad's couch til they kick you out, get a job, get an internship, continue with further education, don't graduate and get another degree...There are MANY options and they all work in today's society. Yes, people want to hear that you have a job and when you will be starting. But, there is no longer a force driving you to choose between limited options - there are so many options that you must decide for yourself what is the best and where you want it to take you. It is this freedom, and lack of guidance, that seems to be the most difficult feeling for my graduated peers and myself to grasp. We have total control over where we go next. For the first time, we get to...and we have to...choose for ourselves how to begin this next era. Strange. Surreal. Invigorating. Scary. Call it what you want but it is a sense of freedom - whether good or bad - that any graduate from college receives along with their diploma.

Yes, I am very excited and ready for this next phase. I am so ready for my job and new little life to start that I made the odd request to start as soon as possible instead of requesting one more summer vacation period. Maybe I will regret this in a few months, maybe not. But, for right now, I know that the job I chose, the town I chose, and the time to start that I chose are all right for me at this point in my life. It is a very freeing feeling to know what you want and to be sure in the big decisions you have made. I hope that my younger friends are able to feel the same security and decisiveness that I have experienced throughout the process of figuring out what to do next. It is important to be both honest with yourself and those around you on what you expect out of your post-college life. What hours do you want to work? Where do you want to live? Is it important to have standard work weeks and holidays or is that not so important as a fun, exotic job title?

Along with the excitement of moving on has come a huge feeling of loss. I have hidden this pretty well - it is much easier and more fun to be excited about the next phase of your life. However, I love my life in Lubbock. I love the grocery store I frequently shop at and eat at...my landlord who has taken great care of me for two years...my mentor and friend Sally who's loving and vivacious spirit has blessed me for three years...my life coach and friend, Gabi, who's office and guidance I will greatly miss...my best friend and roommate with whom I live so well and have such a great system of just living together...my tres amigas group that lifts me up and makes me laugh on a regular basis...my ADPi babies who bring so much love and joy to my life. There are just so many people and places I have grown to love and expect to be a part of my daily life. It is not that I think the relationships are over - it is that I know they will now be different and we will need to figure out our connections within the changes.

But, with a garage full of all my packed belongings and an apartment in Midland awaiting my arrival, I will embrace the new places that will soon become my regular places, new friends to drink wine with, and a new routine to fall in love with. I will always love my peeps from Lubbock and will strive to maintain our love and trust within the friendships. That is a no-brainer - afterall, I am just not good with goodbyes. There were no goodbyes, only farewell until our next encounter.

And now, we are off to Scotland!! Ten days in Scotland to celebrate many things within our family. Think of this Marfa gal and her family as we travel trans-Atlantic to see our ancestoral homeland.

Marfa means...only 2.75 hours from Midland!!!

Jack & Diane's - a total dive.

Tonight I finally got to experience a bar/restaurant in town that has been on my mind for months. I hear commercials and reviews on Jack & Diane's all the time and have wanted to see this place for forever! So, tonight Missy, Lauren, and I decided to head that way for a cold beer as we head into weekend mode.

Even after driving through the prairies to get there, I knew I had found a good match for myself. This place is a total dive with a great vibe, lovely outdoor seating, open room, and good bands most nights of the week. The crowd was very sparse but, it is a weeknight after all. The bartender says they stay pretty full on weekends so I will have to make sure to try it one weekend when I'm back in town. Though I had already eaten, the food looked amazing and made me wish I was still hungry! Anyone searching for a relaxed and very local place to hang out, this is your place.

It's always good to try something new - especially when it's supporting the "locals" and different than other options.

all consuming fire.

In my beautiful oasis called West Texas, devastation has struck. Homes and livestock have been lost, men and women have spent four days straight fighting and risking their lives. Federal assistance and communities from all over have stepped up to help in disaster relief and man power. On Saturday, a huge and terrifying fire consumed over 100,000 acres of ranching land, 20 homes, and who even knows how many animals. It has been a long four days for the communities in the Far West Texas region after fighting to defend their land and lives from the flames which know no limit. The smoke alone caused highways to shut down and damage to individuals' health. Thanks to no rain for seven months and high wind speeds, the fire had easy access into the lives and memories of so many people.

As I began to learn about the travesty that was happening out west, I became obsessed with learning anything I could about the fires. Are all of my friends and family safe? What about their homes? Are the firefighters safe and getting the supplies they need? Where is the fire located now and what direction is it moving in? There were many questions followed by much angst and answered via Facebook and online news pages. I have been truly obsessed with gaining more information and more knowledge on the fires back home. Two nights led to little sleep and my days have been spent on my computer or phone to get the latest news. Whew - it's been rough! And if I have been like this, then I just cannot even imagine what it must be like to actually be THERE, actually see the damage and devastation for myself. It has consumed many of our minds and hearts for the last four days - and will continue to hold residence as the reconstruction of lives and communities goes forth.

Interesting that this fire has been so consuming. And yet, there is still a more alive and intense flame that ticks at the lives of people everwhere. It is the ALL consuming fire who gives us life, rather than taking it away. He gives us peace rather than onsetting fear and anxiety. He creates new life from the destruction of life - just as new life will come from the destruction of these west texas flames.

I have just been struck by such a justaposition (did I use that word right?? Sounded good - but who knows!) of the beauty and evidence of God's presence. Even in disaster, may His glory shine. Father, I pray for the hearts and spirits of those affected by the fires. I pray that you will bring them to You through this disaster. I pray that they will have renewed strength and will soar on wings like eagles. Carry them through Lord, carry them through.

I'm a big kid now.

Well, it's official: I am going to graduate from college...WITH a job! I had my third and final interview with said company on Wednesday and was offered the job following the interview. I accepted immediately. I wanted them, they wanted me - perfect match for a first job.

With this new job, I get to move to Midland. Other than the oil men and women out there, I think I am one of the only ones who ASKED to move to the Tall City. There are just so many positives about moving there that it only seems right. I have spent months pondering the aspects of a job and location that are important for me to have, the quality of life I expect from a company, the company culture that would be best for me...and this fit seems right. Very right. Midland lets me be only three hours from the place I NEED to be (Marfa, y'all)...let's me be near an airport and major interstate to connect me to all the people in my life (mom, dad, brother, sister, loves from life)...still has the small city vibe without being a CITY which overwhelms me these days...grandparents living in the same city...DRY heat...west texas spirit. The list goes on so I will spare you now. Just know, this is a good thing. Incredible to be graduating from college in this economy and spirit with a job in a stable company with direction and purpose to get me into management. Let's all put on our party pants and get excited. I sure am.

Ok, that pretty much sums up this week for me! Wednesday's interview loomed ahead at the first part of the week and this second part of the week was just exciting and fun and a feeling of relief. I have a job. My hard work has paid off. I got the job I WANTED in a location I WANTED. Things are good for me...great actually.

Love to those who stay tuned!

Marfa means...ONLY THREE HOUR DRIVE!!

bicycles.

After nearly four years as a college student, there was one thing that most students do that I had never done...before today. Though I learned how to ride a bike at a very young age, I haven't done it in YEARS. I outgrew my purple speed demon years ago and just never needed to bike. Wait, that's a lie - I did in Marfa a few times because my car was broken but other than that, it's been a while. Most students at least had a bike at one point or another in college but I have always just walked to class. I figured that in the time it took to get the bike ready to go, bike to your destination, and lock it up, I might as well just walk! But, now that gas prices continue to rise and it's GORGEOUS outside, I opted to attempt this popular mode of transportation.

Though I do not live far from campus, it is still a good 15 minute ride to where all of my classes are. Not bad - but more than a short walk from my parking spot to the classroom! Today it was a little brisk out with hopes to be a beautiful day (turns out, it is!) so it seemed to be a good trial run. If I didn't do well on such a beautiful morning, I definitely wouldn't with wind or heat or rain. The elements and I don't mix well.

Aside from riding into the wind and nearly getting creamed by a lovely BMW, I loved it! How peaceful to just cruise along the neighborhood I have called home for over two years now and just breathe the fresh air, hear the sounds of a Wednesday morning, say hello to the old man standing outside his house...it was great! I can't believe it took me this long to bust out the bike and save a little gas. Plus, burning a few extra calories AND seeing my leg muscles lookin so good while peddling doesn't hurt :)

Get a bike. Save some gas. Love life.

Marfa means...even when your car is busted, you can still easily get around. So nice!

Hold on to your seats!

How has this happened? How is it that a WHOLE MONTH has passed me by since I was last here spilling my heart and mind? Honestly, I knew it had been a little while but...a whole month?? Wild. Time REALLY does fly by.

In the last month, I have been very busy. Not bad, stressful busy at all - just lots of interviewing (always a good sign), meetings, traveling for interviews (also, good sign), and livin' it up for my last few, sweet, precious weeks as a college student. I was about to say as a Red Raider but, let's be real, that would be a lie. Once a Red Raider, always a Red Raider. I may not be the biggest sports fan or know all the trivia of my school. But, one thing I do know: I love Texas Tech. I love being apart of this community for the last four years. I love the Scarlet and Black, the Matador Song, going out on Broadway with all the others who enjoy a good marg, and just being in this town. I am getting sad to leave but have found that, while we must acknowledge and be aware of our feelings, we cannot dwell on the sad parts or the big change ahead. That just get too depressing and scary. Rather, I am excited for the freshness, to meet new people, to be a big kid, to have a new norm for a while.

In the coming weeks, I have some epic experiences. Here's a quick run-down of my life and the excitement that happens between now and the end of May...:

Marfa: 6 days. Girls trip. Me and my ladies, Lauren and Missy. Marfa - please, put on your safety belt. We are ready to dominate.
Orlando: 21 days. Family time. Harry Potter world. Basking in the sun - what more could a girl ask for?
Vegas: 25 days. Need I say more?

LJT Music Festival: 10 weeks. A weekend of good music and excellent company. Lucky me.
Graduation: 13 weeks. The sweet realization that a) I am done with school...b) I am "responsible and educated"...c) a job will require my full attention for at least 45 hours a week. Whoa. Bring it!
Scotland: 14 weeks. Family trip to see our "roots." A break from the heat of Texas Summers to bundle up, drink some quality whiskey, and see the world with my padres and hermanos.

Lucky me, right? I am very blessed to have so many fun and exciting events ahead. What's going on in your life to be excited about right now? Even if it's just a yummy bowl of ice cream or a weekend to be lazy, don't forget to look forward to life.

Marfa means...a place I can always come home to.