a few thoughts.

Today I went running after work - I normally go running in the mornings, on a treadmill, and in Lubbock where the land is flat even if I did run outside. Needless to say, the run didn't go so well. I am a bit nervous that if I THOUGHT I was in shape, what out of shape looks like! Granted I haven't worked out in a few days, had a big night out (mmm cold beer) before leaving Lubbock, and ate only a few hours before running today. But still, I hurt more than I normally do. Bummer. But, in the lack of running that I did and the replacement of speed walking, I had plenty of time to think through things. Here is a blueprint of some thoughts from today's workout experience:

- There are a two things in life that I can honestly say I HATE:
1) BIRDS. Don't like them, think they're gross and disease carrying, am annoyed by a bird chirp waking me up, they can fly and I cannot. Yes, I have seen the famous movie, The Birds, but do not attribute that to my extreme dislike and even more extreme fear of the avis race. I have had far too many experiences with birds that are weird, uncanny, and a bit neurotic. I envision them flying AT me and pecking at me. It has happened before - this is not just a freakish issue I have. Today's run brought me passing under a tree as about 15 HUGE and FAT crows decided to leave the limbs and embrace the sky. If only they had waited until I was not UNDER the tree.
2) BARKING DOGS. Especially the little yappy ones. While large dogs are capable of knocking me over and destroying me, little yappy ones are the kind that most often decide to chase running girls with their annoying "yip yip yipping" and could use their extremely sharp teeth to do some serious work on my famous calves. This also happened...TWICE today. Perhaps running from stupid dogs at an extraordinary pace could be the reason I was so much more tired than normal?

- I still really really want to participate in a half-marathon. John, my best friend who is now with Jesus, was an avid runner. He spent his high school and college years planning his days and diet around running - no Dr. Pepper during season! As I got more interested in running (and joined the cross country team in HS for the sole purpose of fulfilling that dreaded sport credit...), we were able to share running stories with each other. Granted, John's mileage more than doubled mine but running is running no matter how far you can, or let yourself, go. Anyways, I would love to run a half-marathon and raise money for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society. Maybe more research would have lead to a speedier diagnosis. Who knows. Either way, this is a goal for my life. I have put it off due to a lack of energy that both I and Gabby, my therapist who I love and completely attribute my sanity to, have decided I just don't have as I continue to experience this thing called GRIEF. But, one day, I will be at the point where I can, and will, run the entire 13 miles of a half-marathon. Until then, I will keep training to at least cover the distance - even if it, like today, includes some speed walking :)

I have prematurely restarted many online training coaches - once they tell me to go 6 or 7 miles I say PEACE - solely because it requires more distance than I am ready, or capable, of going right now. New plan: just finish the required mileage. It is a 12 week program - in 12 weeks I will be headed back to the hubcity after a refreshing summer mixed with some big "firsts" without my main man to join in on the fun. It will be good to focus on this. Readers, whoever you are if you are even there, encourage me, please. I want to finish my summer able to go 13 miles - mostly running but a bit o' walking is fine by me. This is more realistic than saying I will run them all and then just quitting out of pure defeat.

- With my newly instated running plan, I must incorporate a new eating plan. I am not in Lubbock anymore with hundreds of options for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snack. No more Fuzzy's or J&M or Spoonful to entice me EVERY DAY of my life. There are plenty of delicious options here in Marfa but eating out is less of a social experience than it is in Lubtown. I can say no and eat at home without feeling like I am missing out on friend time. New eating plan: mostly just fruits, veggies, and whole grains. But I like yogurt and cheese so add that to the mix. New drinking plan: no more than 2 beers in a night. I love me some cold beer (coors light or dos equis, preferrably, but I won't be picky...) but need to know the limit. It's a defeating moment when you realize that you LITERALLY just drank your daily allowance of calories - and that is normally followed after having already eaten your daily allowance of calories...bummer dude. It makes a potentially toned ab-area a bit softer and less...well, toned. What a bummer to work out - to push through the pain and sweat like a pig (do pigs really sweat??) - only to destroy all that you just did and more by drinking! Vodka-soda with lime, PLEASE! Or maybe some gin if I'm feelin' a little bit frisky...

Now that you know my train of thought during my run, I will leave you to enjoy the first of many summer nights ahead of us. Looks like mine will entail a quick trip to the hotel to scope out the scene followed by some porch time with me, Gus and Call (for those who don't know, these extremely attractive men are the main characters of Lonesome Dove - my current and HIGHLY recommended read). I love my life...my Marfalous life (minus the freakin' buzzards flying way too closely to my house...).


Marfalous life means...you wave to a fellow driver as yall pass on the road.

HERE WE GO!

There is a Spanish saying that goes a little something like this: dinero, amor, salud y el tiempo para gozarles. In English, this translates to: money, love, health and the time to enjoy them. For Latinos, this motto is the foudation of how they live and experience life. Rather than living in the future, constantly trying to make more money or more success for future happiness, the latino culture focuses on the present moment - embracing life as it is right now to gain the most possible. Money is important only because it is used to purchase food, clothing, necessities in life. Love of friends, family, and an intimate relationship are vital to a person's well-being. What is more special than loving life and having someone to share it with? What is more foundational than the relationships with those who share your life and your experiences with you? Health of the mind as well as of the body leads to inner peace, lightheartedness, and an openness to embrace life. For the latino culture, all these things are important in life but it is most important to actually take the time to enjoy them. Without appreciating and embracing these areas of life right now and taking the time to love, be healthy, and use wealth to enhance life, they are wasted.

All this to say, I have found this theory to be true in Marfa. As I unpacked my mountains of STUFF and then walked to the hotel for courtyard drinks, I remembered the slowness of life here. People do not live as much by a schedule or in a frenzy to get from one place to the next. There are responsibilities here, yes, but the main responsibility seems to be relationships. Perhaps it's because in a small town, that's really all you have. Marfa allows for taking the time to enjoy the sunset and meet new friends just because they are sitting next to you. Marfa inspires art of all mediums. Marfa rejuvenates the soul by allowing me to appreciate each moment rather than hurry to the next best thing.

Here I sit on my porch with Patsy Cline crooning through the open windows, the neighbor's horse neighing in the nearby pasture, kids squealing at the playground, and the peaceful breeze rustling through the trees. Already I feel the drug of being where I belong, where I love most, pumping life back into me. After a semester of life changing moments, heavy course load, relationship changes, and overall heartbreak, it is nice to feel and see this opportunity of rejuvenation ahead of me. I am so eager to embrace each moment given to me out here. I know that another summer in Marfa, another summer home, will be just what I need to persevere through my final year of college before making this a permanent move.