Put together eggs, vanilla, and sugar and you will always be satisfied. These three ingredients are the basis of cakes, cookies, brownies, pies, and (my personal favorite) ice cream. Depending on cooking times, preparation methods, and other ingredients, you can begin with three basic items and end with some incredibly sweet, satisfying, and all-together wonderful.
Today I put this theory to the test. Using my all-time favorite baker as my guide, I baked and layered over a dozen Homemade Ice Cream Sandwiches. To me, that just sounds fancy! But, please note, it was so simple. Using a basic but sturdy chocolate cookie recipe and the best ice cream available in Marfa, Texas, I slathered the creamy deliciousness between two freshly baked (but cooled, of course) chocolate cookies. Please - EVERYONE try this at home. I quickly wrapped them up and ran a few down to the hotel. This kind of wonderful delight in life should just NOT be enjoyed alone.
Marfa means...sitting at Jett's and trying experiment drinks while Jose tries my newest creation :)
6.08.2010
6.07.2010
the ultimate tease.
God is the ultimate tease. He keeps surrounding Marfa with expansive storm clouds, exquisite lightening shows, rumbling thunder. All the land and towns within at least a 40 mile radius seem to be getting excellent rain and storms - all of which we can see thanks to the open space that West Texas provides. And yet, even though we close windows and bring in the drying laundry, Marfa gets little more than a sprinkling of rain. I keep waiting and anticipating the fury of the sky to fall down upon my little town. I keep hoping for the thunderous experience that a West Texas storm brings. I await the freshness and lightness of the air after a good, cleansing rain. I see it all around me but it has yet to hit Marfa!
I have a new project in mind...I will let you know more when things look more realistic. It involves Marfa, obviously, and raising money for a brave and sacrificial group here in town. If all works according to plan, it will be a really fun and exciting project. Let's hope things work out!
Marfa means...getting to actually watch a thunderstorm without being in the midst of it.
I have a new project in mind...I will let you know more when things look more realistic. It involves Marfa, obviously, and raising money for a brave and sacrificial group here in town. If all works according to plan, it will be a really fun and exciting project. Let's hope things work out!
Marfa means...getting to actually watch a thunderstorm without being in the midst of it.
6.06.2010
a time of reflection.
Being my first full weekend back home since my tour of Texas, I expected this to be a BIG weekend, lots of crazy stories, maybe some good pics of my fly outfits, and exhaustion. I am finishing up the weekend feeling very mellow and pensive rather than chatty and pooped. I guess this is a good thing. Maybe it's a sign of maturing that I can be chill when I go out; that I can sit back, have just one beer, and just take in the evening's experiences without being the CENTER of the experience. Or maybe it was just me being thoughtful and needing to recover from a crazy 2010. Either way, I gussied myself up last night, broke out the 4 inch heels in Marfa, and attempted a night out on the town. Like I said, it ended up being more of a relaxing and internal experience - I guess they can't all be big nights out.
This weekend has been a lonely one for me. That is a weird thought since I am with people constantly in Marfa and know lots of people from lots of different social groups. But, I have spent the afternoons at the house, reading/attempting to nap/working on watching Lonesome Dove and that allows for my mind to wonder, to consider my life as it is, and to miss John. Don't worry - it's not a dark time here in M-town for me and I'm not depressed. Just thoughtful. I have found something to be true: grief is exhausting. It takes a lot of time and always shows up again after a short absence. You get used to it being less present, the norm becomes noticing that your loved one is not there but not having to focus on that all the time because of life getting in the way. But then, one day out of the blue, it creeps back into your mind, your thoughts, your heart - infiltrating every moment and every conversation and every experience. I had myself fooled - I thought I had maybe figured everything out. Joke's on me. Missing John will be a norm for the rest of my life. Missing John has become something that I take with me to the hotel, to the bar, to dinner with friends, and as I drive through the West Texas mountains. I think the important part of grief is that you learn to continue in life, remembering the one you love, but not losing sight of your own need to really live in the midst of everything.
Here's what it feels like to lose your best friend, your soul mate: there's always an absence. Even when I'm surrounded by friends - new and old - it is evident that something is missing, something is not as it usually is. It's knowing that you don't have your ultimate wingman to share your experiences with - even if it is just via phone or text. It's not having someone to laugh at how ridiculous you are, to get angry at the stupidity of people, to plan your next experience with. It's knowing that no matter who comes and goes in life, that role that that one person filled and took on will never be filled again. That the relationship and comfort and closeness felt there will never be able to be duplicated. It's a lonely moment to realize that for me to find my "someone" in life, I have to go through the getting-to-know-you process and experience the initial awkwardness and nervousness that goes into it. In order to be totally comfortable with a guy like I was with John, I have to go through that first phase...but first I have to find someone worthy of that effort and energy. I know, I am young and have a lifetime ahead of me. Don't worry - I am not whining about my single status. I sometimes even enjoy it. I am simply trying to voice this constant loneliness of not having my best friend to share my life with - my best friend that was always "my person"as well as a good friend.
These last 6 months have aged my spirit and my soul. I feel older than 21. Not in a depressing way, just a way that only life experiences naturally bring about. In this older self, I find that I am ready to settle down, to start the next phase of life with someone to share all the moments with - to just sit and listen to the band at Padres, to join my family and I at Schlitterbahn, to watch Lonesome Dove with me, to visit me at work during lunch time. It's these little things that are normal, everyday experiences I am ready to share with someone.
Today, my MARFAlous life reminds me to LOVE the ones in your life, to enjoy the simple moments of life, to live right now - not only anticipating what will happen in the future. We have the present; God does not promise us any more time than that. Live fully, laugh openly, and love deeply.
Marfa means...going for a cup and coffee and staying for 2 hours - just because you sit to chat.
This weekend has been a lonely one for me. That is a weird thought since I am with people constantly in Marfa and know lots of people from lots of different social groups. But, I have spent the afternoons at the house, reading/attempting to nap/working on watching Lonesome Dove and that allows for my mind to wonder, to consider my life as it is, and to miss John. Don't worry - it's not a dark time here in M-town for me and I'm not depressed. Just thoughtful. I have found something to be true: grief is exhausting. It takes a lot of time and always shows up again after a short absence. You get used to it being less present, the norm becomes noticing that your loved one is not there but not having to focus on that all the time because of life getting in the way. But then, one day out of the blue, it creeps back into your mind, your thoughts, your heart - infiltrating every moment and every conversation and every experience. I had myself fooled - I thought I had maybe figured everything out. Joke's on me. Missing John will be a norm for the rest of my life. Missing John has become something that I take with me to the hotel, to the bar, to dinner with friends, and as I drive through the West Texas mountains. I think the important part of grief is that you learn to continue in life, remembering the one you love, but not losing sight of your own need to really live in the midst of everything.
Here's what it feels like to lose your best friend, your soul mate: there's always an absence. Even when I'm surrounded by friends - new and old - it is evident that something is missing, something is not as it usually is. It's knowing that you don't have your ultimate wingman to share your experiences with - even if it is just via phone or text. It's not having someone to laugh at how ridiculous you are, to get angry at the stupidity of people, to plan your next experience with. It's knowing that no matter who comes and goes in life, that role that that one person filled and took on will never be filled again. That the relationship and comfort and closeness felt there will never be able to be duplicated. It's a lonely moment to realize that for me to find my "someone" in life, I have to go through the getting-to-know-you process and experience the initial awkwardness and nervousness that goes into it. In order to be totally comfortable with a guy like I was with John, I have to go through that first phase...but first I have to find someone worthy of that effort and energy. I know, I am young and have a lifetime ahead of me. Don't worry - I am not whining about my single status. I sometimes even enjoy it. I am simply trying to voice this constant loneliness of not having my best friend to share my life with - my best friend that was always "my person"as well as a good friend.
These last 6 months have aged my spirit and my soul. I feel older than 21. Not in a depressing way, just a way that only life experiences naturally bring about. In this older self, I find that I am ready to settle down, to start the next phase of life with someone to share all the moments with - to just sit and listen to the band at Padres, to join my family and I at Schlitterbahn, to watch Lonesome Dove with me, to visit me at work during lunch time. It's these little things that are normal, everyday experiences I am ready to share with someone.
Today, my MARFAlous life reminds me to LOVE the ones in your life, to enjoy the simple moments of life, to live right now - not only anticipating what will happen in the future. We have the present; God does not promise us any more time than that. Live fully, laugh openly, and love deeply.
Marfa means...going for a cup and coffee and staying for 2 hours - just because you sit to chat.
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