Navigating the Wilderness #2

Have you ever seen the movie Blue Crush? The one about three friends and sisters, doing life on their own with little money and no adult figure to help guide them, that LOVE surfing? Well, at the end of the movie, the main girl gets the opportunity to compete in her dream competition - the biggest surfing challenge around. She is encouraged by her friends to enter and participate despite the terrors of her last competition - one where she nearly died by the waves. After overcoming her fear and embarking on her chance to win this challenge, she is drug under by the huge, torrential waves which she was supposed to be surfing on. Awesome. Her biggest nightmare is happening again. And yet, right at the last moment before total suffocation and despair, she gets the energy and will-power to conquer the waves, return to oxygen, and finish the competition. She ends up winning the event making her the most sought after female surfer. That's pretty intense.

Just like that movie shows one girl beating the odds and conquering the waves, we too must conquer the storms of life. Yes, we have seasons of life. But, sometimes those seasons turn into storms - it all just seems to pour down on you, infiltrating every nook and cranny of peace, light, and hope. The disciples experienced one of these storms during their time with Jesus. You know the story - they were in the boat, a storm came, they grew fearful and lost faith that the Lord would bring them through the downpour and huge waves, and then were saved by His Power in the end. This also correlates with when Peter walked on the water towards Jesus, full of faith and confidence, until he lost total focus on the Prize and began to sink. He too was saved by the Lord.

In both of these New Testament stories, we see events where the storm of life was great, and very real. The dangers and fears of the moment are tangible even for readers today. We understand the hopelessness of feeling like we are being drowned by life. Aren't we supposed to feel vivacious and energetic, after all, in LIFE? Well, yes, but sometimes we are brought to the wilderness because we need a change of heart, expectations, and settings - just as the Israelites needed to get out of Egypt. Sometimes, God allows us to enter a time of unknowns, unchartered territory, and emptiness so that we will learn to call on him, learn to depend on the mercy and light of our Father in order to get through each moment of life.

The key part of that last sentence is to CALL ON HIM. The disciples had to do it when they frantically woke up their Lord saying “Lord! Save us! We are going to drown!” (Matthew 8: 25). Peter also had to cry out for the Lord, “Lord, save me!”, after taking his focus off of Jesus for a moment. Moses also cried out to the Lord and suddenly his people had fresh drinking water – a relief from the bitter water they had found in the wilderness. It is natural for us to NEED God, that is why we are here, afterall! But, the Lord will wait for us to cry out for him, wait for us to acknowledge that we need his mercy and miraculous ways. It is in the eye of the storm, the heart of the despair, that we most see our need for His Hand and Heart to guide us, and to ultimately save us from our own destruction.

I have started a daily “cry out” to God. Maybe it is asking for a way to serve my roommate or those around me. Maybe it is asking for clarity in how I think and process through my daily emotions of peace and anxiety, comfort and loneliness, anticipation and anxiety. How will you cry out to the Lord today?

Marfa means…an oasis in my wilderness.

Navigating the Wilderness #1

In Priscilla Shirer’s book One in a Million: Journey to Your Promised Land, the experiences brought from life’s wildernesses, and how we respond to such events, is examined. Mrs. Shirer uses the example of the Israelites’ escape from the confines of Egyptian rule and their search for the Promised Land to help women, and men, today understand the seasons and storms of life. Out of the two million Israelites that left slavery in expectation of flowing milk and honey, only two actually arrived at this utmost goal. Thus, we have One in a Million – a challenge to become the minority, the few, who persevere through the wilderness of life and maintain their “eyes on the prize.” Readers are challenged to see through the storms life brings and seek the final destination where the sweetness and unique experience of knowing who God lies.

My life is a wilderness right now. No, I am not in financial constraint or dealing with a broken marriage or personally ill. To the outsider, I am a normal senior in college who is merely looking forward (with great anticipation, might I add) to that day in May when I walk across the stage and say goodbye to the world of academia and hello to commerce…or wherever I end up. But, on the inside, there is so much going on. I am dealing with the final quarter of a year that involved my best friend getting diagnosed with aggressive Lymphoma and dying all within four months. I am dealing with the anxiety that searching for a job in today’s economy brings any individual – but especially one who, despite a pretty nice GPA, has little experience in her desired field. I am experiencing an absence from John no longer being in my life, my good friends graduating this December, a desire but confusion to find that “perfect” first job, a failed relationship with a guy I really liked and saw a future with, figuring out who I am on my own… WOW, that is a wilderness for sure. There are so many emotions and displaced feelings right now for me. Those around me do not seem to know or really understand how I feel inside my heart and mind. For most of my friends, graduation is a long way off, not something to look forward to, and a moment of huge transition from fun to adulthood. I see May 14^th as the beginning to a new season in life. It represents the end of my experience at school, which has grown to represent the last year and dealing with grief more than anything. It represents an opportunity to stop being a professional student and start making real money, supporting myself, dealing with the world in a more realistic and grown up manner. There will be fewer boundaries, more structure, and more purpose.

Up until recently, I have view this 2010-2011 school year to be a waiting period for me – a holding pen until I am released into the freshness of life post-college. I have been wondering how I will last 9 more months, and now 6 more months, until I can leave these last 13 months behind me and start new. Thank goodness I have a wise and understanding therapist to help me see life differently than that! After seven months of weekly sessions, Gabby and I have been able to connect and trust each other to be honest, open, and real during our conversations. I trust Gabby’s opinions and advice more than anyone right now because she has helped to guide me through the darkest points of my life, and has helped me to see the light. She cries with me and shares of her own experiences when they pertain to my own. She is honest and bold about how I see situations – sometimes it is easy to hear, other times not so much. But, one thing she has been persistently reminding me of is this: Find out why God has put you here for this school year, why you are in this wilderness. Do not let this season of life pass you by – do not miss the opportunity to explore God’s will and personality, to acknowledge his divine plan in your life, or to touch others because of your storm. One in a Million has brought so many of these answers to my attention. Between Gabby and Mrs. Shirer, I can see myself growing in my faith and how I see the world. Life is not easy. It is not a “walk in the park” all the times. Yes, there are the times when we are floating on cloud nine (is that the right saying??), when things seem to be wonderful and perfection is unstoppable. And, yet, it is in these moments that reality likes to bite us the most. It is in the sweetness that we are brought back to our senses and must struggle through the thorns and drought and anxiety that the wilderness brings in order to better see, know, and understand how sweet life really is. This understanding only comes because we know and acknowledge the power, the might, the deep love of our Father whose hand and voice will always be our guide through the wilderness and to the Promised Land…we just have to cry out for his aide and be obedient.

If only that was as easy as it sounds…

Marfa means…a break from the wilderness and a taste of the milk and honey of the Promised Land.