Navigating the Wilderness #1

In Priscilla Shirer’s book One in a Million: Journey to Your Promised Land, the experiences brought from life’s wildernesses, and how we respond to such events, is examined. Mrs. Shirer uses the example of the Israelites’ escape from the confines of Egyptian rule and their search for the Promised Land to help women, and men, today understand the seasons and storms of life. Out of the two million Israelites that left slavery in expectation of flowing milk and honey, only two actually arrived at this utmost goal. Thus, we have One in a Million – a challenge to become the minority, the few, who persevere through the wilderness of life and maintain their “eyes on the prize.” Readers are challenged to see through the storms life brings and seek the final destination where the sweetness and unique experience of knowing who God lies.

My life is a wilderness right now. No, I am not in financial constraint or dealing with a broken marriage or personally ill. To the outsider, I am a normal senior in college who is merely looking forward (with great anticipation, might I add) to that day in May when I walk across the stage and say goodbye to the world of academia and hello to commerce…or wherever I end up. But, on the inside, there is so much going on. I am dealing with the final quarter of a year that involved my best friend getting diagnosed with aggressive Lymphoma and dying all within four months. I am dealing with the anxiety that searching for a job in today’s economy brings any individual – but especially one who, despite a pretty nice GPA, has little experience in her desired field. I am experiencing an absence from John no longer being in my life, my good friends graduating this December, a desire but confusion to find that “perfect” first job, a failed relationship with a guy I really liked and saw a future with, figuring out who I am on my own… WOW, that is a wilderness for sure. There are so many emotions and displaced feelings right now for me. Those around me do not seem to know or really understand how I feel inside my heart and mind. For most of my friends, graduation is a long way off, not something to look forward to, and a moment of huge transition from fun to adulthood. I see May 14^th as the beginning to a new season in life. It represents the end of my experience at school, which has grown to represent the last year and dealing with grief more than anything. It represents an opportunity to stop being a professional student and start making real money, supporting myself, dealing with the world in a more realistic and grown up manner. There will be fewer boundaries, more structure, and more purpose.

Up until recently, I have view this 2010-2011 school year to be a waiting period for me – a holding pen until I am released into the freshness of life post-college. I have been wondering how I will last 9 more months, and now 6 more months, until I can leave these last 13 months behind me and start new. Thank goodness I have a wise and understanding therapist to help me see life differently than that! After seven months of weekly sessions, Gabby and I have been able to connect and trust each other to be honest, open, and real during our conversations. I trust Gabby’s opinions and advice more than anyone right now because she has helped to guide me through the darkest points of my life, and has helped me to see the light. She cries with me and shares of her own experiences when they pertain to my own. She is honest and bold about how I see situations – sometimes it is easy to hear, other times not so much. But, one thing she has been persistently reminding me of is this: Find out why God has put you here for this school year, why you are in this wilderness. Do not let this season of life pass you by – do not miss the opportunity to explore God’s will and personality, to acknowledge his divine plan in your life, or to touch others because of your storm. One in a Million has brought so many of these answers to my attention. Between Gabby and Mrs. Shirer, I can see myself growing in my faith and how I see the world. Life is not easy. It is not a “walk in the park” all the times. Yes, there are the times when we are floating on cloud nine (is that the right saying??), when things seem to be wonderful and perfection is unstoppable. And, yet, it is in these moments that reality likes to bite us the most. It is in the sweetness that we are brought back to our senses and must struggle through the thorns and drought and anxiety that the wilderness brings in order to better see, know, and understand how sweet life really is. This understanding only comes because we know and acknowledge the power, the might, the deep love of our Father whose hand and voice will always be our guide through the wilderness and to the Promised Land…we just have to cry out for his aide and be obedient.

If only that was as easy as it sounds…

Marfa means…a break from the wilderness and a taste of the milk and honey of the Promised Land.