JUMP start.

One task in life I always dread but, at times, cannot escape: jump starting a car battery.

I know, I know - this only is further evidence of my tendency to be slightly ridiculous in certain moments of life. But come on - my whole life I have been warned that, if done wrong even just slightly, you and your car will BLOW up. I am okay with dying if that is my time but...I would rather it not happen by messing up a recharge and being blown to bits! But, alas, I bet the worst that would happen is some sparks and a shock...but that's reality and, in times of peril, we forget to stick to reality.

So, Missy and I held on to our fates and went for it. Her car hadn't been driven all week - we thought it was just cold and hibernating, thus it would not start. I guess her dad was right - it really was the battery, not the below zero temperatures. Needless to say, we survived the experience. Albeit, there was much drama and laughter and anxiety throughout the ten minutes it took to restart her car.

Wouldn't it be cool if life provided us with a Jump Start option? Just plug your brain or heart or body into an active source of energy and you'll be good to go? Thing is...though we might not be able to just plug in and recharge, we do have things that act as the source of energy. Some find immediate energy in a delicious mug o' joe, a brisk walk or jog, a good movie to calm the spirit. Those are great for the short term burst of energy necessary to finish the long day ahead. But, the real "recharge" experiences take time. It took me nearly a year to really and fully recharge from life's hits. Sometimes it takes many years. But, what is necessary in all cases, is a desire to combat the lag in energy or desire and to push through to find the source of energy...to let that source take over for a while so you can just be still and let yourself be refreshed. With Missy's car, it took a few minutes of letting my battery recharge her battery. With life, it often takes time, also, to really flood your mind and spirit with the strength to keep going.

Marfa means...an oasis of refreshment and strength.

Baby, It's COLD Outside.

It is currently 11 degrees...feels like negative 10 degrees.

That is VERY cold.

Especially when you consider the fact that there is 35 mph winds...

and the back door is frozen shut.

In other words: what a great excuse to NOT do anything productive, watch multiple movies, eat delicious food, and be lazy.

Note to self: do NOT buy firewood from 7-11...do NOT get excited about a cozy fire on the morning of a snow day...do NOT attempt to build said fire when the wind outside is blowing at 35 mph. If you do these things, the smoke from the firewood will get caught in the stream of wind coming from the chimney and will smoke out your house. Then, to rid your house and lungs of all the smoke, you will have to have the front door open...when it is -11 degrees outside. And, even though you WANT the fire to just go ahead and put everyone out of misery by dying out, the opened front door will only add to the oxygen in the house which will then feed the fire...so it will never end. You see the viscous cycle this is? Fire smokes up house...front door is opened due to suffocating smoke...fresh air, though it eats up the smoke, feeds the fire and freezes said fire-builder...door must be closed due to frigid temperatures and no more smoke and big cozy fire...smoke assumes suffocation mode.

So, moral of the story: don't get excited about a cozy fire on a lazy frigid day. It will never measure up to your expectations.

Stay warm and cozy!

Marfa means...t-minus 11 days for girls' weekend :)

seeing life with a clearer view.

Taken from my archives...originally composed sometime in the Fall of 2009:

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.” (love this quote.)

Tears are the purest THING I can think of. It is in the truest moment of emotion that one sheds tears. They are the most tangible and visual representation of life’s most true and heart-felt moments. One could say that they are the tangible created by the heart. It is in the midst of tears that we shed our emotions for others, and for ourselves, to both taste and feel. Others see when our hearts have had a moment of too much – whether that is too much happiness to contain, too much fear to avoid, too much pain to pretend not to feel. It only takes a slight second of “too much” to trigger the tears and overflow of emotion.

When a person cries, they are exhibiting emotions in a visible manner. And though tears come from an inability to contain the strength of emotion, it is a strength to allow oneself to become vulnerable to themselves and those around them. It is not easy being so vulnerable. When you cry, everyone knows something is off, abnormal if you will. Maybe you are tearful at a wedding or a birth for the happiness and sweetness of the occasion. Maybe the tears come in the midst of heartbreak or a death. Perhaps, there is just so much stress and expectation in life that you cannot help but to let it all out – assume fetal position and let the tears loose. Either way, it is not easy or comfortable to know that you are showing or feeling so much emotion, or experiencing such a real, pure moment. We all know that tears make a person vulnerable to others because it shows that the one crying is actually feeling something. In a society where life is hectic and people prefer to pretend everything is okay, it’s odd to show that, in fact, something is not okay within yourself.

We are able to see the tears on someone else and to see them fall from our own faces. Little glistening balls of salt water that represents so much more than a body’s natural reaction to things or weakness. You see, we can only hold back the tears for so long, can only avoid the moment of emotions gushing and pouring out for so long. Thus, when the emotions finally become too much to hold it, the tears have crossed physiological reasoning and become something of the heart and soul.

We can taste the saltiness of the tears as they roll from our eyes over cheekbones and onto our lips. For centuries, salt has been used as a preservative to give a longer life and durability to a substance that our bodies need and crave. Likewise, the ability to show our most private emotions occurs by shedding tears – they act to preserve the heart from too much pain, too much happiness, too much fear. It has been said that a little table salt will help to remove stains and clean furnishings around the house. Just a little dash and magic happens. Salt can be used as a flavor enhancer in the culinary world. If something needs a little extra kick or just a dash of “something else”, add salt. It puts the acids to work, brings out the reality and purity of the flavors. Perhaps tears work the same way. By letting them freely fall, the stains of hurt and unknowns, the burdens of holding in so much happiness or sadness, will be lifted from our hearts and minds. By letting them fall freely, the flavor of FEELING will kick into action. We can experience and really know the thoughts and power of our hearts when just a few tears are able to enhance and develop those emotions.

I love the feeling of a good cry. All sorts of emotions and thoughts and feelings are brought to mind and heart as the tears rise up and pour out – feelings and thoughts come about that I never even suspected where there. It’s as if the tears are the release – the tangible that man seems to rely on – that is necessary for me to truly know and feel my own emotions. My tears let me see what I am feeling as they fall onto my hands. They let me feel the touch of happiness or sadness or extreme emotion as they roll down my face. They let me taste the flavors of the experiences of life as my hurts, happiness, and fears move from the inside out.

glorious.

Yesterday in Lubbock it was 75 degrees with a light breeze.

Yesterday in Lubbock I was in my swimsuit, basking in the sun, in my backyard.

Good thing I have a high enough fence because the public might have been a) blinded by my pasty-ness and b) though I had on both halves of my bikini, one might consider me nearly topless...I just wanted to be tan all over! I did get a nice red tint...some said I was sunburned but I know my tan self better than they. Ha - I said. I knew today the red would be gone and I would be, finally, a slightly darker toned self than this time yesterday. On Friday, I went to class dressed for the 30 degrees that it was when I left...I promptly stripped down to my bra and some borrowed shorts at a friends house. I could not pass up the 73 degree sunshine and my clothes at my house were just too far away to waste time on silly things like a swimsuit when, let's be honest, a bra is not much different...just prettier due to the lace I am accustomed to.

Tuesday's weather calls for snow...how can I get a slight sun-burn one day and then three days later be expecting snow?! My emotions and psyci (spelling??) are being teased!

Yesterday, due to the fabulous weather and little responsibility I currently have, was titled "Summer Day" by some friends and I. We iced down some beer, grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, made and ate delicious dips with crunchy chips, and sat around all afternoon in the warm sun. It was a perfect day - really, perfection was accomplished. I was surrounded by some old friends, some new friends, and people that are just mutual friends. It was a healthy mixture that brought fresh conversation and new experiences. It's always good for us to surround ourselves with new people to liven things up a bit.

Ok, church time. Enjoy your Sunday and...just get excited because January is NEARLY over. Which means, this month is over...phew. Plus, we are that much closer to warm, sunny days EVERY day. love that.

Marfa means...a fun girls' weekend in less than two weeks!!!